Parents who are hurt or offended by unmet expectations—often expectations that are unrealistic or, even worse, unspoken—are not behaving as parents. They are behaving as children.
This might sound harsh, but it’s true: parents are called to lead, not sulk. Parents take initiative. Parents pursue their children. Parents put their children’s needs before their own.
When we step into parenthood, we step into a role that reflects the Father’s heart. God doesn’t sit in heaven with crossed arms, offended that we haven’t met His expectations. He came running toward us in Jesus. He moved first. He pursued reconciliation before we even knew we needed it.
So when we, as parents (or grandparents), get stuck nursing hurt feelings because our adult children didn’t call, didn’t visit, didn’t respond the way we hoped—what role are we really stepping into? The role of the parent, or the role of the child?
Parents, hear this: your calling is to love first, move first, and forgive first. Your children may disappoint you. They may frustrate you. They may fail to meet your expectations. But your role doesn’t change.
Take the initiative. Pursue their hearts. Put their needs before your own.
It’s not weakness—it’s maturity. It’s not letting them “off the hook”—it’s walking in the footsteps of the Father who ran to meet His prodigal son while he was still a long way off.
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