It’s Not About Me

As followers of Jesus, we need to be comforted and reminded of things from time to time…things that sometimes fall out of view as we navigate a broken, self-centered world. These reminders come from God’s Word and from lovers of God who dwell in God’s Word and are filled with the Spirit of God Himself.

When the flesh is overcoming our mind, emotions, and maybe even our physical condition, it IS important to remind ourselves and be reminded by others that God is at work through our tough circumstances and our pain (sometimes self-inflicted)…this is comforting. He IS in CONSTANT care for and ABSOLUTE rule over all of His creation, for HIS glory and the good of HIS people. We NEED that reminder that it’s for the GOOD of His people.

But, it’s critically even more important as Spirit-filled believers to remember that the FLESH will always drive us to think about OURSELVES…OUR pain, OUR hurts, OUR circumstances, OUR tough times, OUR well-being, what WE need, what WE want, what WE deserve, etc. We also NEED the reminder that our story is for HIS glory.

The Spirit who FILLS us with HIS presence, HIS fruit, HIS power — this HOLY Spirit indwells us to walk according to HIS will, HIS plan, HIS purposes, “HIS workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.”

Even as Christians who are indwelt by HIS Spirit, if we don’t crucify the flesh daily and bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, we can still make it all about us. We must align our minds and hearts with the Holy Spirit and His Holy Word, and we need friends and community that will do the same.

It’s not about me…it’s ALL about HIM!

Count on me

Hey church (wherever you gather with a local body, your pastor would say “amen” to this):

Whether it’s a church gathering, class, small group, prayer meeting, or event – before you decide to participate or not participate in something based on what you’d get out of it or whether you “feel” like attending…

…I’d challenge you to consider that it shouldn’t only be about what you want or need out of it but maybe about what you can share or what someone in your household may need or should be sharing.

As a member of the body of Christ, your responsibility is to the whole body, not yourself. Think about the organs of your own body. Nearly all the organs of the body protect, nurture, fight infection, and supply the needs of the other organs…HARDLY AN ORGAN IN THE BODY IS PURPOSED TO SERVE ITSELF. Your body NEEDS you and you NEED them.

Hear what I’m saying…not what I’m not saying. That’s not to say that you should go to EVERYTHING and participate in EVERY ministry and group. That’d be ludicrous and impossible. That’s not to say that you should show up ill and spread disease or that you should abandon your family in a moment of crisis. Again, that’s just stupid.

What I’m suggesting is this, if God has intentionally connected you to the church body, then you should be consistently and actively participating in the things designed for the whole church body. If God has intentionally connected you to a Group/Missional Community, then you should be consistently and actively participating in the things designed for that Group. If God has intentionally connected you to a Ministry Team, same…so on and so forth. You get the gist.

If you’ve said “I’m in…count on me” to the church, to a Group, or to a Ministry Team, then that’s exactly what should be received from you, whether you think you want to or need to be there or not.


I have found myself having this discussion a lot lately, so I thought it might be good to share.

The Holy Scriptures – God’s authoritative, sufficient Word – is given for the complete equipping of every saint of every age for every good work.

In this Holy Bible, we find things that are PRESCRIPTIVE for the church and every act of obedience by the believer to walk in Spirit-driven holiness as we are being transformed into the image of Jesus. These would be the things that God through His inspired prophets, scribes, and apostles has instructed and prescribed His creation to follow. These would be principles, commands, examples,etc, some with promise and some with warning. In short, these are the things that God prescribes for us to do.

We also find things that are PERMISSIVE actions demonstrated or illustrated in Scripture. These are not necessarily things that God has commanded of all men, everywhere at all times. Some of these things would not even be God’s design or desire, but in some cases, He allows them…or permits them under certain conditions. However, just because God permits a thing or action does not mean that God has prescribed that thing or action.

Still yet, in the confines of Scripture, we do find many things that God says are PROHIBITED. To act on these is an offense to God’s design, God’s character, and God’s existence. We know these actions to be morally wrong or in disobedience to God’s design.

Today we hear many influencers that confuse, conflagrate, and interchange these three, which is a violation of Scripture itself. With God’s wisdom and discernment, we must know the difference.

Who Changed?

Often in relationships (marriage, family, friendships, etc.), a person can become hurt by changes or distance in the relationship.

When we find ourselves in this situation, we have to ask ourselves, “Who changed? Who stopped doing what they once did? Who left the conversation? Whose tastes, interests, values, or principles changed and left the other one behind? Is this a bad thing? Is it a good thing?”

Maybe one open to God’s chiseling and molding outgrew the one who refused God’s refining fire. Maybe one ceased being themself and became somebody else. Maybe it was the providential hand of God protecting one from the other. Maybe it was meant to be an awakening for one of you.

Aside from the “til death do us part” covenant of marriage, not every lost relationship is meant by God to be a loss. God sometimes brings healthy growth by pruning dead branches. God sometimes has to make room for new blooms by removing dead foliage. Carrying your dead becomes a heavy, futile burden.

On the other hand, be careful not to set the bar so high for others to be in a relationship with you that no one, including you, could enjoy a sustainable relationship with you.

Our Choices Matter

If your children sleep ten hours a day (which is a stretch), go to school seven hours a day for 180 days a year, and your family attends church one service a week every week of the year but two (which is above the average of 40 times a year)…

Parents are responsible for 3800 waking hours a year (represented by the big tower of orange ping pong balls) to teach their kids about Jesus. The church, on the other hand, has an average of about 50 hours a year (represented by the small vase of ping pong balls) with a child to teach them about Jesus.

Parents – we can’t rely on the times we show up to the church to be the only place our children hear about the character and nature of God, learn the disciplines and precepts of God’s Word, and see the models of a Jesus-centered life that has been transformed by the Gospel!

Our activity choices matter.

Our school choices matter.

Our entertainment choices matter.

Our extracurricular choices matter.

Our playtime/free time/family time matters.

How are you leveraging WHO you are and WHAT God has entrusted to you to reach your home with Gospel-centered ministries of mercy so they might come to know, love, and follow Jesus into His kingdom?

Filling the Silence

Follower of Jesus, fill the silence with your praise!!!

#SoliDeoGloria – for the glory of God alone!

When the noise around us falls quiet, we are tempted by our flesh to fill the space, the silence with something…we often fixate and obsess over US!

— our insecurities and image

our biased comparisons of our lives to others

— our pain and hurts (physical and emotional)

— our unmet goals and expectations (those we have for ourselves and others)

— the lies we tell about ourselves and others

FEAR NOT!!!! We do not have to contend with the flesh. It does not rule over us…it has already been conquered. We have victory over the enemy, including our own flesh. The Spirit of the Living God resides in us and will be with us forever. When you feel you must sing, sing HIS Praises. When you feel you must speak, speak HIS truth. Know HIS peace.

John 14:16-17,19-20,25-27 NASB

I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, so that He may be with you forever; [17] the Helper is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him; but you know Him because He remains with you and will be in you. [19] After a little while, the world no longer is going to see Me, but you are going to see Me; because I live, you also will live. [20] On that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you are in Me, and I in you. [25] “These things I have spoken to you while remaining with you. [26] But the Helper, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and remind you of all that I said to you. [27] Peace I leave you, My peace I give you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, nor fearful.

Vague Concern

When a manipulator can no longer control you, they will instead try to control how others see you.

How do they do this?

One major tactic the manipulator will use is what we call the “vague concern tactic.”

This is where the manipulator finds or creates an opportunity to tell someone, generally a mutual acquaintance or friend, that they have some vague concern about you.

The manipulator will keep things vague or unverifiable. They’ll frame it as a concern. It’s a way of posturing love for the individual that they are actually attempting to slander.

This, in time, can create a “cloud of concern” around an individual.

People distance themselves.

This is one way a manipulator diminishes the influence of someone who has fallen out of favor with them and maintains a hold on others.

It’s wicked. It’s cowardly and caddy. It’s gossip.

Beware of talebearers, especially when they are vague tales.

NEVER listen to someone who wants to tell you about someone else UNLESS that someone else is present to answer for themselves AND you know that person has been confronted in PRIVATE first. It is contrary to Biblical counsel and will always be the sin of gossip…even if you only listen, you are participating in that person’s sin. Don’t let your empathy become THE path to gossip. This is the kind of stuff that ruins our churches, ruins culture, ruins relationships, and ruins people. #checkyourselffirst

Matthew 18:15-17 NASB

“Now if your brother sins, go and show him his fault IN PRIVATE; if he listens to you, you have gained your brother. [16] But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that ON THE TESTIMONY OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY MATTER MAY BE CONFIRMED. [17] And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, he is to be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.


We don’t NEED to be happy.

We don’t NEED to be healthy.

We don’t NEED to be comfortable.

We don’t NEED to be understood.

We don’t NEED life to be fair.

We don’t NEED to be loved.

We don’t NEED to be successful.

We don’t NEED to know what tomorrow holds.

Step outside of our western, suburban pocket of privilege and “rights,” and we’ll find that two-thirds of the world doesn’t have most of those things, BUT many still thrive in what really matters.

We NEED Jesus.

We NEED His grace and mercy.

We NEED to know He loves us.

We NEED to know Him and be known by Him.

We NEED His Spirit filling us, transforming us into His image, sanctifying us FROM ALL that is profane, unclean, and impure, and sanctifying us FOR ALL that God designed us for before the creation of the world.

We NEED to understand His precepts for living in unity with His nature, His character, and His will.

We NEED ALL of Christ for ALL of life.


Physical, emotional, and spiritual sickness can debilitate a person for one of three reasons:

1. General sin of mankind in the world…a general depravity and decay that afflicts the whole world due to the rebellion of mankind in general against God.

2. Personal, individual sin…sickness and even death comes upon individuals due to their own direct offense to God’s character and nature. Ex: Acts 5; 1 Corinthians 11

3. Demonic sin…satan and demons afflict people with various kinds of illness as God permits for His purpose. Ex. Job

It is for reason #2 that James pairs confession of sin in context with praying for healing by the anointing of the Holy Spirit.

James 5:13-16 ESV

Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. [14] Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. [15] And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. [16] Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Spiritual healing in your inner health before God is a catalyst God uses to result in physical, external healing.

Healing may come in one of three ways:

1. Immediate healing through the miracle-working Holy Spirit.

2. Gradual healing through medicine.

3. Eventual complete healing in the resurrected, glorified body.


“I don’t need you to feel anything to do great things for me.” – God

Many people base their worth and effectiveness, their value and significance on “feelings.” “This makes me feel; therefore, it must be ______.”

I’m grateful for the gift of emotion that comes from the Lord our God, King of the universe, Creator, and Savior of our souls. However, because my emotions are part of my flesh, they have been affected by my sin nature and cannot always be trusted.

When I am not in allegiance with the Holy Spirit as He uses the Scriptures to guide me in trust and obedience, my emotions, or lack thereof, can betray the truth of God’s work in me. I do not need to feel in order to know what is true.