Life is Hard, Now What?

Posted on by pastordarryl68

I’m a listener and a people watcher. I’m a student of human behavior. Here’s an observation from my observations:

People spend way too much time trying to convince others that they have a hard life…hard, demanding, degrading job, family issues, relationship issues, health issues, etc. It’s almost like they’re in a competition…a battle of “one-upmanship.”

  • the doctor said he’s never seen a case as bad as mine
  • no one has experienced as much as I have
  • no one has had to deal with the kind of people I have to deal with
  • no one has been around as much as I have
  • no one has had to carry the weight that I carry
  • no one has been treated the way I have as many times as I have

Here’s the problem: We’re trying to convince the already-convinced. They’re underwhelmed by our “shock and awe” stories – not because they don’t care or aren’t concerned. They’re not shocked because they too have a hard life of their own…a whole different set of burdens that are equally as weighty as ours.

Here’s the solution: BE the listener. BE the one to encourage. BE the mercy-giver. BE the edifier. We’re all in this together. God will ensure that you get what you give.

Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. ~Philippians 2:4

The Fruit of the Spirit

Posted on by pastordarryl68

For Kingdom minded people…

If you’re looking for joy, you’ll find it.
If you’re looking for peace, you’ll find it.
If you’re looking for love, you’ll find it.
If you’re looking for patience, you’ll find it.
If you’re looking for kindness, you’ll find it.
If you’re looking for goodness, you’ll find it.
If you’re looking for faithfulness, you’ll find it.
If you’re looking for self-control, you’ll find it.

But…
If your flesh is looking for division, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for stress, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for worry, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for fear, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for despair, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for pain, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for chaos, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for gossip, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for hate, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for difficulty, you’ll find it.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control ~Galatians 5:22-23

Work Heartily

Posted on by pastordarryl68

I know that I’m living a life I can’t take a bit of credit for! Only a loving, merciful, and gracious God could write this story. I am blessed way beyond what I deserve, thanks to God’s abounding grace and mercy. Blessed are you, Lord our God, King of the Universe, Creator, and Savior of my soul. #SoliDeoGloria

I love the work that I get to do. Please don’t hear what I’m not saying…there are some tasks involved in my work that are challenging and difficult, they are not fun, and they are not really what, in my flesh, I want to be doing. But I absolutely love the work to which I have been called, and I really can’t get enough of it. I take one day of sabbath, or respite, away from my “job”, but even at that, I’m hopefully replenishing for the work that God has designed me to do. Now my flesh…ugh, that’s another story. My flesh is as lazy as the day is long….my flesh likes to veg on junk food and junk media. My flesh wants to lay around. My flesh wants to be a professional traveler and just consume, consume, consume for myself. My flesh wants to isolate.

But when I walk in the Spirit, I love that the work I do brings an income that provides for our needs and our health, allows my wife to take care of our home, allows us to bless our children and grandchildren in their young starts, allows us to bless our community with hospitality and benevolence, and will hopefully allow us to leave a legacy for our children that will bless future generations.

I do not understand a man who does not want to work, a man who works harder to avoid work than he does at his work. I do not understand the man who dreads his work. That just isn’t God’s plan for us.

God’s original design for mankind, before the fall of man, was to work by exercising dominion and care for what God created. He put man in the garden to tend and keep it, to make it productive. Ecclesiastes 2:24 LSB says, “There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink and have his soul see good in his labor. This also I have seen that it is from the hand of God.” To see good in his labor…it is from the hand of God. WOW!

Paul says in 2 Thessalonians 3:10-11 “…if anyone is not willing to work, neither let him eat. For we hear that some among you are walking in an unruly manner, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies.” There is much to be said about that in this age of recreational addictions and social media “influencer” culture…more about that later. I’m finding that idle time leads to an unruly mind that seeks unhealthy, unproductive, lazy, and sometimes sinful recreation. One who works hard rests well, without idleness. He went on to say in 1 Timothy 5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Those are stinging words, brothers.

It’s not that everyone should LOVE their work. There’s some kinda stinky jobs out there. BUT…we should LOVE the Lord who has created us for work, we should LOVE that He has called us to the work we do, and we should LOVE the rewards HE gives for obedient labor…some mentioned above and many more personal and communal rewards that are both physical, emotional, and spiritual. Serve the Lord Christ!

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. Serve the Lord Christ. ~Colossians 3:23-24 LSB

Drama

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Some people LOVE drama. They’re attracted to it. Some will even create drama out of thin air just for the high or the attention.

Drama Free is the life for me! I do my best to avoid, ignore, and/or navigate around any drama-inducing agents at every opportunity, in my personal life. I’m one of the most boring people I know.

There is enough drama that naturally comes with my calling to minister to people with hurts, habits, and hangups without seeking it out, feeding it, and breathing fresh life into it.

What about you? Are you attracted to drama? Does it find you? Do you miss it when you’ve got a little “drama-free” space?

And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one. ~1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

A Critical Spirit

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A critical spirit often comes from a place of idleness.

In my 30+ years of ministry, nearly every time I’ve seen a critical spirit tamed, God has used a status change to alter their idleness – they got a job, they got married, they had kids, they started working on an education, they had a crisis, they started caring for others, they had a major move, etc. They no longer had the idle time to ponder the imperfections of others.

None of those things in and of themselves will cure a critical spirit. This only comes by the work of the Holy Spirit in conjunction with a follower of King Jesus, who desires to walk in sworn allegiance to His person, in obedience to His Word, and in likeness of His character.

Being critical is simply a manifestation of our arrogance…thinking too highly or too low of ourselves. Humility is the act of thinking of ourselves less, not thinking less of ourselves.

Humility demonstrates care for others…it doesn’t criticize them. Which people in your life have you been critical of? In what ways can you start caring for them?

make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, as He already existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself by taking the form of a bond-servant and being born in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death: death on a cross. ~Philippians 2:2-8

My Approach to the New Year

Posted on by pastordarryl68

I’m in “wrapping up the year” and “getting ready for the next year” mode – both personally and professionally.

I’m not a New Year’s resolution guy, but I very much see the close of the holidays and the change of the calendar year as a time to be intentional about Kingdom Values — leveraging who I am and what I’ve been given to reach my neighbors, my city, and my world with Gospel-focused ministries of mercy so they might come to know, love, and follow Jesus into His Kingdom.

It’s a time to re-evaluate and re-center my organization and time management. It’s a time to re-evaluate and re-center my mission, vision, values, goals, relationships, etc.

I want even my time of rest and relaxation to be centered in ALL of Christ for ALL of life.

Philippians 3:10, “that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death,”

1 Corinthians 2:2 “For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified.“

What about you…how do you approach the New Year?

The Guest of Honor

Posted on by pastordarryl68

There is a vast difference in the participation levels of those who gather at church services and the results are equally vast…it’s the same as if you attend a gathering at a home.

There are those who show up empty-handed – some by force, some in need, and others to enjoy, consume, and leave.

There are those who show up with a gift – a bottle of wine, a bouquet of flowers, or small gift for the host. They contribute who they are and what they have to the event. They’re engaged. They give, enjoy, consume, and leave.

There are those who show up to serve. They can’t just sit; they have to be doing and helping. They find their way to the kitchen, where they help set the table and clear the dishes. They give, enjoy, give some more, and then leave, physically and emotionally full and exhausted.

Then there are the hosts/hostesses. They prepare themselves and their home for the gathering…they start days in advance. They create an environment of hospitality and generosity. They think about their guests, their needs, and their enjoyment. They prepare the food to be served. They set the table. They welcome their guests. They serve their guests. They enjoy the fellowship. They enjoy the meal. When the guests leave, they clean up, crawl into bed and begin to plan for the next event they want to host. They are fulfilled.

Every church gathering will have guests of various kinds. We must be hospitable and generous with them all.

But what we often miss is that we as followers of Jesus, as The Church, we are ALL the hosts and Yahweh is the Guest of Honor. We often only see the speaker, the staff, and/or the Worship Team as the hosts. Sometimes, that change in the way that we think must come from the leaders.

Do you gather at church to consume only? Are you an attender only? Or are you a host of the saints and Yahweh?

I pray that we as followers of Jesus, the Light of the World, host our unbelieving guests and the Guest of Honor today with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength today.

Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. ~Romans 12:13

Consumers and Contributors

Posted on by pastordarryl68

Whether in a society, an organization, a business, a team, a church, or a family…CONSUMERS DO NOT BUILD OR LEAD ANYTHING.

A CONSUMER cannot be depended on as a foundation for anything. By definition, they will only consume, take, and receive for their own benefit and when they no longer find personal benefit, they move on to consume elsewhere.

A society is built by CONTRIBUTORS and plundered by CONSUMERS. CONTRIBUTORS are the foundation of any society, organization, business, team, church, or family. CONTRIBUTORS invest through radical generosity of their time, their talents, and their treasures (their possessions and money).

I’m extremely grateful for the sacrificial generosity of those who have contributed to my family, my church, and my society. I’m grateful for the examples God has placed in my life to teach me to pay that same generosity forward.

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. ~Hebrews 13:16

Tell Your Stories

Posted on by pastordarryl68

I’ve preached very few sermons that someone didn’t come up to me and, in jest ask “Have you been following me?”, “Do you have my house bugged?”, “Have you been talking to my spouse/parent?”, or “Were you lurking in the shadows at my workplace?” It is somewhat comical but shows the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit to use The Scriptures and His storytellers to affect, influence, convict, encourage, and heal so many people from so many walks of life with one story.

Every breathing human being tells stories about things they’ve experienced and/or observed. Many, many people share these on their social media platforms. Life is a story, and we are designed to be the storytellers…all of us.

Unfortunately, some do it with ill intent or vengeful hearts. Some may mean it as a passive-aggressive attack on someone. Of course, these are wrong motivations, IF those are true motives…but I can only know a person’s true motives if the person admits it or I can read their mind. Otherwise, I’m just lowering myself to what I presume is their level by behaving the same way – judging as fact what I cannot possibly know. If I’m taking offense because I think it’s about me (and probably 5,000 other people who think the same thing), or worse yet, if I take ownership by proxy of offense because I think it’s about someone else (who isn’t even offended OR aware) – that’s on me – not on the storyteller. Chances are, I don’t trust the person and am assuming the worst about facts not presented.

But most are just sharing their experiences, lessons learned, or just making conversation. Let’s be honest – authors, journalists, bloggers, preachers, teachers, motivational speakers, influencers, and comedians would all be out of a job if there was something inherently evil about sharing the stories you’ve participated in and/or observed.

Hundreds of thousands of books (including the Bible) could never have been written if there was something evil about writing/talking about things you’ve experienced and/or observed and applying your thoughts or Yahweh’s inspired teachings about those things.

Now, if we’re talking about cowardly calling someone out behind a screen, naming names, throwing people under the bus, pointing blame, exposing secrets, or sharing confidential information that you’ve been trusted with – that’s an entirely different story. Many do it, but that doesn’t make it right. It’s a big part of what journalism today has become – partial or out-of-context truths, assumed motives, rumor-milling, and gossip-mongering. It’s wrong to do it with your friends, on your social media, on TV, or in print.

Tell your stories. Leverage who you are and what you’ve been given to help and serve others…some of my most tragic stories have helped way more people than they hurt me. Do it with compassion. Do it with humility. If you’re a follower of Jesus, do it for the Kingdom and not for yourself. One of the greatest truths for those of us who are followers of Jesus is this – realizing that it’s not really MY story. It is HIS story!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ~Philippians 4:8

Search Me, O God

Posted on by pastordarryl68

Follower of Jesus, before you assume guilt assigned to you by someone else, stop and humbly confer with the Holy Spirit. David prayed this prayer in relation to those who were doing and speaking horrible things over both he and Yahweh: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.” (Psalm 139:23-24) Yahweh will honor your request. If your heart or actions have been wrong, He’s not going to withhold that from you.

However, what Yahweh MAY reveal to you is the person’s pension for doing the same thing to others. How many others have they treated the same way? How many others do they blame for doing them wrong? How many relationships or churches have they abandoned because they were offended? How many other people have they blocked, unfriended, and canceled rather than seeking holy reconciliation and restoration by following Jesus’ prescriptive plan in Matthew 18 for when a brother or sister sins against you?

At some point, the “offended” might have to look in the mirror and realize that THEY are miserable and alone, that THEY are the victimized, not the victim.

I know that as a pastor/counselor, I’ve seen this cycle so many, many times in relationships. I’ve told people for years, “I’ve gone to many churches…” is not an asset to your resume or your reputation! It’s like saying, “I’ve been married many times.” You’re not instilling confidence in your character. I’ve heard the question, “Why does this keep happening to me?” way more times than I’ve heard, “Why do I keep doing this?”

Let us test and examine our ways, and return to the Lord! ~Lamentations 3:40