Where Have All the Godly Men Gone?

Posted on by pastordarryl68

I’ll be honest—I’m weary.

Weary and disappointed by the way men, especially husbands and fathers, have been portrayed in the shows, sitcoms, and movies of the last couple of decades.

From The Simpsons to Married with Children, from Disney to Nickelodeon, we’ve been fed a steady diet of dads who are bumbling fools. Husbands who are lazy, clueless, and dependent. Fathers who are either absent, mocked, or irrelevant.

These caricatures are everywhere.

The husband who can’t make a decision without his wife correcting him.

The dad who sits on the couch while his kids roll their eyes.

The man whose only motivation is sex, food, or avoiding work.

And here’s the tragedy: those men have become the heroes and role models for a generation.

Somewhere along the way, our culture decided that strong, godly manhood wasn’t worth portraying—or worse, was something to laugh at. The man who leads with conviction is called controlling. The husband who provides and protects is labeled old-fashioned. The father who disciplines and guides is accused of being harsh or out of touch.

But Scripture paints a very different picture.

In Ephesians 5, husbands are called to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”

That’s not lazy love. That’s sacrificial love.

It’s a call to lead, not with dominance, but with humility and strength.

In Proverbs, the father is depicted as a teacher, a voice of wisdom saying, “My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart.”

That’s not clueless. That’s intentional. That’s present.

And in Micah 6:8, the man of God is commanded to “act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with his God.”

That’s integrity. That’s courage. That’s leadership.

These are not the men our screens celebrate—but they are the men our homes, churches, and communities desperately need.

There’s a quiet crisis in our culture today.

We’ve raised generations of men who think leadership is weakness, that masculinity must be mocked, and that passivity is peace.

But men of God, hear me: our world doesn’t need more sitcom dads. It needs kingdom fathers.

Our families don’t need more couch-bound husbands. They need servant-hearted leaders.

Our children don’t need men who blend into culture—they need men who stand against it.

This is not about ego or dominance. It’s about responsibility.

It’s about stepping into the divine design God gave men—to love, to lead, to protect, to serve, and to reflect Christ in the way we carry ourselves.

So where are those men?

Where are the husbands who are faithful, patient, and Spirit-led?

Where are the fathers who teach, encourage, and protect?

Where are the men who live with courage and integrity, leading with vision and wisdom?

Maybe the better question is—will we be those men?

Because while Hollywood may not celebrate it, Heaven does.

While the world mocks strong, humble leadership, the Kingdom honors it.

While culture rewards self-indulgence, God blesses self-sacrifice.

Men of God, it’s time to rise.

To lead our homes with prayer.

To serve our wives with honor.

To train our children in righteousness.

To manage our work and our words with integrity.

We can’t control what the media portrays—but we can control what we model.

And when we walk in the Spirit, when we lead with the heart of Christ, the world will see something it hasn’t seen in a long time:

A man who is both strong and gentle.

Both humble and bold.

Both firm in conviction and rich in grace.

That kind of man doesn’t just change a family—he changes generations.

Why the Church doesn’t need to check your boxes

Posted on by pastordarryl68

We live in a time where even committed believers approach the local church like a consumer approaches a product. We “shop” for the church that checks our boxes—strong worship, engaging preaching, a thriving youth group, coffee bar, community service, or programs that align with our passions.

But let’s stop and ask a deeper question:

What if God didn’t lead you to that church because of what it already has… but because of what it needs—and what you bring to it?

When we only attend a church that meets all our personal preferences, we unintentionally shift from being contributors to consumers.

We stop asking, “God, where are You calling me to serve?” and start asking, “What can this church do for me?”

But that’s not how the Kingdom works. The Body of Christ is not a showroom. It’s a living organism, designed by the Spirit and built by believers who show up to strengthen what’s lacking and supply what’s missing (Ephesians 4:16).

Throughout Scripture, God never places people where everything is already done. He places them where something needs to be built.

When God led Nehemiah back to Jerusalem, the walls were broken down. When God sent Paul to Corinth, the church was divided. When He called Timothy to Ephesus, false doctrine was spreading.

Why?

Because the Spirit doesn’t lead us to comfort — He leads us to contribution.

The Holy Spirit might lead you to a church that’s still growing, where ministries are underdeveloped, where systems are messy, and people are imperfect — because He knows you’re part of the solution.

If the church already has everything you’re passionate about… why do they need you?

Romans 12:6 says, “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.” That means your gifts were never meant to be spectators in the stands — they were meant to be engaged on the field.

Maybe the worship ministry needs your encouragement.

Maybe the youth group needs your leadership.

Maybe the hospitality team needs your smile.

Maybe the pastor needs your prayer.

You might be the missing piece God wants to use to bring that church to maturity.

Let’s be honest — the “church shopper” mindset is subtle. It sounds spiritual on the surface:

“I just want to be fed.”

“I’m looking for a place that fits my calling.”

“I need a church that meets my family’s needs.”

But underneath, it can become self-centered rather than Spirit-led.

The New Testament doesn’t say, “Find the perfect church.” It says, “Be the church.”

When Jesus said, “I will build My Church” (Matthew 16:18), He didn’t mean a church perfectly tailored to your taste — He meant a people perfectly yielded to His will.

The real question isn’t, “Does this church feed me?” but rather, “Am I feeding others through my presence here?”

We must shift from attending church for what we can consume to belonging to church for what we can contribute.

Before you decide where to plant yourself, don’t just make a checklist — make an altar.

Ask the Holy Spirit, “Lord, where have You called me to build?”

Psalm 92:13 says, “Those who are planted in the house of the Lord will flourish in the courts of our God.”

Flourishing doesn’t come from finding the perfect church. It comes from being planted in the right one.

So instead of looking for the church that has it all together, look for the church where God is stirring your heart to help build. Because your obedience may be the very thing He uses to bring strength, stability, and revival to that house.

And when you stay where He plants you, you’ll discover something powerful — the blessing isn’t just in being served, it’s in being spent for the sake of His Kingdom.

This Day Belongs to the Lord

Posted on by pastordarryl68

Every year around this time, the same conversations start circulating. People begin debating whether Christians should celebrate certain days, avoid certain symbols, or stay locked inside their homes because “it’s the enemy’s day.” But friend, let me say this clearly: the adversary does not own a single day on the calendar. He never has, and he never will.

When we allow fear or superstition to guide our decisions, we’re not walking in faith—we’re giving attention to the wrong kingdom. The enemy loves attention. He feeds off fear, distraction, and confusion. But as believers, we’re not called to magnify darkness; we’re called to declare the light.

Scripture reminds us in Psalm 118:24, “This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” Notice it doesn’t say, “This is the day the Lord has made, except for October 31st,” or any other day you might think belongs to the enemy. Every sunrise belongs to Yahweh. Every breath, every moment, every day—His.

Jesus didn’t just come to forgive sin; He came to establish His Kingdom. When He declared in Matthew 28:18, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me,” He meant it. There is no spiritual vacuum where Satan rules freely. The devil only operates under permission, not possession.

That’s why we, the Church, must stop giving the enemy free publicity. Whether it’s through fear-driven conversations or constant focus on what darkness is doing, we’re unintentionally glorifying the wrong side. Paul told the Colossians, “He has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of His dear Son” (Colossians 1:13).

So why would we, as citizens of light, keep rehearsing the enemy’s influence when we’ve already been relocated into the dominion of the King?

This is not the day of fear. This is not the day of witchcraft. This is not the day of the enemy.

This is the day of the Lord.

Instead of retreating, let’s rejoice. Instead of hiding, let’s shine. Instead of fearing the darkness, let’s fill the streets with light—with worship, with prayer, with laughter, with the joy of the Lord.

The Church doesn’t take its cues from culture or calendars; we take our marching orders from the King. Jesus is King. His Kingdom has no end. And as long as He reigns—and He reigns forever—every single day belongs to Him.

So lift your head, believer. Stop watching the shadows and start walking in the sunlight of His Kingdom.

Because this is the day that Yahweh has made.

And we will rejoice and be glad in it.

A need for Rest

Posted on by pastordarryl68

I completely understand the need for rest…7 to 8 hours nightly, one day weekly, maybe even a week or two annually to step away from the tasks of life to do things that you otherwise couldn’t do because of time, space, or location restraints. I even understand the joy that a holiday brings to an extended weekend away from a manual labor job in order to spend more quality time with family.

But I struggle to understand the NEED to take a break from something I voluntarily committed to participate in for the mutual joy and wellbeing of myself and those to whom I’ve committed. What are these things, you say? Based on the idle complaints I hear and read about, the big three are:

1. Marriage (family).

2. Immediate family.

3. Church family.

Aside from the tragic abuses of these God-designed institutions, why would we voluntarily enter into a covenant relationship or participate in the act of procreation if these are relationships from which we feel so deprived that we NEED a break? Is it any surprise that rulers, authorities, world forces of darkness, and spiritual forces of wickedness primary target for their destruction is the family? Is it any wonder that these forces have found easy prey in our homes and churches?

If it’s because of misuse, abuse, or sinful issues in the relationship(s), what are we doing to diagnose and remedy the root issues rather than run from them? Do we introspectively seek to know how we are contributing to the problem from which we NEED relief? Are we willing to confront the self-centric issues in the family that contribute to the fatigue and burnout we experience?

Burn out

Posted on by pastordarryl68

I cannot legitimize burnout as an acceptable state of ministry for a healthy servant of God…and I’m currently dragging bottom emotionally and mentally toasted.

As common as this may be, this is not an acceptable status. This is not a label that I can brand as a “season of life”. This is a moment of conviction and soul-searching. It is a warning signal that the Holy Spirit is firing across all my systems. It is an opportunity. There is something in my life that needs to be addressed…something that needs to be eliminated, confessed, or healed. It may be brokenness. It may be unforgiveness. It may be an illness that is preventing my mind and body from securing the rest my Creator and Designer requires. It may be sin.

If I am mentally and emotionally unable to navigate the journey that Yahweh has put me on for today, with the time He has allotted each of us, it is not because I’m “in a season”. It is possibly because I am doing something or carrying something that was never mine to bear. It is possibly because I’m ignoring a system-wide warning sign the Holy Spirit is making me all too aware of. It is possibly because I am failing to do something I KNOW I should do, but am giving myself the excuse to continue in sin. I can’t blame anyone but myself…no one has the power to put anything on me that I don’t also have the power to refuse that task or load. No burden can be put on me that I do not accept. No hardship can be put on me that God has not promised to walk with me, providing me the strength and relief needed to bear through it or take it from me.

I don’t need excuses. I don’t need a vacation. I don’t need attention, comfort, or pity. Those are things my flesh craves. What I need is to be on my knees before the Lord, seeking wisdom for when to say “no”, or “enough”, or “not now.” What I need is to be more discerning in how to bear the burdens of my community WITH Jesus, not AS Jesus. I’m no Messiah. What I need is to be reminded that Jesus is our rest…He is my Sabbath. What I need is to stop denying the Holy Spirit of His function in me and stop trying to BE the Holy Spirit.

How about you? What are you carrying that is not yours to take? What are you trying to do that was never assigned to you? This is not permission to be uncaring or to not participate in the mission of responsibility that God has placed on us as functional members of families, churches, and communities. It’s not permission to forsake responsibility. It is, however, a wake-up call to walk in our calling and in the Spirit – to discern the difference between being like Jesus, being filled with His Spirit and BEING Jesus or His Spirit.

Truth and trust

Posted on by pastordarryl68

When someone lies to you, it cuts deep. It’s not just the words—it’s the wound of betrayal. You start to wonder, Can I trust anyone? But here’s the thing: when someone fails you, it doesn’t mean all of humanity has failed. It means one person chose dishonesty over integrity.

And yet, if we’re honest, it still shakes us. Especially when it comes from someone who claims to represent Jesus. A minister. A brother or sister in Christ. Because when they lie, it feels like the ground shifts. The one who was supposed to point you to Truth ends up hiding from it.

But friend, don’t let someone else’s lie distort your view of Jesus. He never lied. He never deceived. He is Truth. John 14:6 says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” When man fails, Christ remains faithful. When leaders disappoint, the Lord still stands pure.

The question then becomes: what about us? Is it ever permissible for a servant of the Most High to lie?

To avoid confrontation? No.

To spare someone’s feelings? No.

To escape accountability? Absolutely not.

The Word of God doesn’t bend for our comfort. Proverbs 12:22 says, “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are His delight.” God doesn’t categorize lies by size or motive. A “white lie” is still a dark stain.

We may tell ourselves we’re protecting peace or saving face, but every lie—even the “small” one—erodes trust and cheapens truth. Every deception builds a wall between us and God, because the Spirit of Truth cannot dwell where falsehood rules.

When you lie to avoid confrontation, you trade courage for cowardice.

When you lie to avoid hurting feelings, you assume your words are wiser than God’s ways.

When you lie to avoid accountability, you build your own prison and call it protection.

As servants of the Most High, our words should carry the weight of Heaven. Jesus said in Matthew 5:37, “Let your yes be yes, and your no be no.” Anything more than that—He said—comes from the evil one.

So when others lie, don’t let it break your faith in humanity, and certainly not in Christ. But let it remind you how sacred truth really is. How rare. How vital.

Let’s be people who tell the truth even when it’s uncomfortable.

Even when it costs us.

Even when it means confrontation or confession.

Because every time we choose truth, we reflect the One who is Truth.

Whos Job is it?

Posted on by pastordarryl68

There’s a little story that gets passed around about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.You’ve probably heard it before. There was a job to be done. Everybody thought Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. In the end, Everybody got mad at Somebody because Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

We laugh at it because it’s clever. But we also feel the sting of truth in it.

This plays out in the church. This plays out in families. This plays out in communities. When Everybody assumes Somebody else will give, serve, lead, or sacrifice… Nobody does. Or worse, the same Somebody does everything until they collapse from burnout. And then, truly, there is Nobody.

The Bible never calls the church to be a crowd of consumers, waiting for someone else to do the work. Scripture is clear:

“Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” (1 Corinthians 12:27)

Not just pastors. Not just the most energetic or the most outgoing. Not just the people with fewer kids at home or more money in their pocket. Each one of you is a part of it.

The early church turned the world upside down because every believer took responsibility for being the body of Christ. They prayed. They gave. They served. They risked. They spoke the gospel boldly. They didn’t look at one another saying, “Somebody else will do it.” They looked at the cross and said, “Here am I, Lord. Send me.”

Friend, don’t wait for “somebody else.” You are that somebody.

If there’s a need in the church—don’t assume it will magically get filled. If there’s a hurting neighbor—don’t assume someone else will show up. If there’s a meal to make, a child to disciple, a mission to fund, a hand to lend—step forward. Do what anybody could do, but few are willing to.

Jesus didn’t sit back waiting for “somebody else” to go to the cross. He became the Somebody for Everybody so that Nobody would be left out of His kingdom.

Now He calls us to follow His example.

It’s not somebody else’s job. It’s ours. It’s yours.

Living Beyond Means, Living Beneath Calling

Posted on by pastordarryl68

We live in a culture that wants more without doing more. Many believe they should be paid more, not because their work is truly worth more, but because their appetites and spending demand it. Their lifestyle exceeds their discipline. They don’t want to adjust their desires, so they demand their income adjust instead.

I cannot wrap my head around this. Maybe that’s because my entire life has been spent in a calling where expectations are the exact opposite. Pastors are expected to want little, to have little, and to work as if we were available 24/7. And many of us accepted that without bitterness, because it was a calling, not a career.

But here’s the tension: both sides—whether it’s the worker who overspends or the pastor who overgives—can find themselves living out of balance with God’s design.

The Bible speaks clearly: “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that” (1 Timothy 6:6–8).

Discontentment is dangerous, whether it’s found in the factory worker demanding more for less effort, or in the minister silently resentful that people expect sacrifice without support. The heart issue is the same: we want what we have not disciplined ourselves to manage, or what we have not trusted God to provide.

Paul wrote, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation… I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:12–13). Notice—contentment was learned. It doesn’t come naturally. It comes by choosing gratitude, adjusting desires, and trusting God’s provision over man’s paycheck.

Here’s the call:

  • If you are constantly dissatisfied with your pay, examine your spending before you demand more. Ask—am I living beyond my means?
  • If you are serving in ministry and feel stretched thin, ask—am I trusting God to supply and setting healthy boundaries, or am I letting people’s expectations define me?

We must learn to walk in godly contentment, whether in plenty or in want. We must live as if Christ, not culture, sets our value.

Reflection Question:

Where are you demanding more—either from your paycheck or from people’s approval—when God is calling you to discipline, contentment, and trust?

When Did We Stop Listening?

Posted on by pastordarryl68

When did we stop listening to one another?

When did we lose the simple courtesy of giving our full attention to the one speaking?

Has it always been this way, and we’ve just gotten used to it?

Few things are more frustrating than talking to someone who interrupts, cuts you off, or talks over you. Even when they let you speak, you can tell they’re not really listening—they’re just planning their next words. Sometimes people even ask for advice but never slow down enough to let you give it.

And it makes me wonder: what does that say about us?

Listening is more than hearing words—it’s valuing people. Proverbs 18:13 says, “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.” God calls it foolishness to speak before truly hearing. Why? Because listening shows love.

When Jesus walked this earth, He listened. Crowds pressed in on Him, but He paused to hear the blind man cry out. He turned aside to listen to the woman with the issue of blood. He stopped in His tracks to hear the questions of His disciples. Jesus never brushed people off. He gave them dignity by giving them His attention.

Listening is humility in action. Philippians 2:3 tells us to “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” To listen is to lay down the need to control the conversation. It’s to say, “What you’re saying matters. You matter.”

We live in a culture that prizes talking points over relationships, arguments over understanding. But the Kingdom way is different. James 1:19 tells us plainly: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

Imagine if we took that seriously.

Conversations would shift.

Marriages would heal.

Friendships would deepen.

Churches would grow stronger.

Maybe the best ministry you can give this week isn’t your words, but your ears.

Who in your life needs you to truly listen—not to fix them, not to outtalk them, not to prepare your comeback—but to give them your full attention and love?

Ask God for the grace to be “quick to listen” today.

Walking Testimony in the Workplace

Posted on by pastordarryl68

If you’re lousy at your job, nobody you work with cares about your Gospel. You can talk about church, invite people to services, or share your testimony—but if your work ethic, integrity, and character don’t back it up, your words fall flat. Respect is the doorway through which your witness walks. Without it, the door stays shut.

So what does being lousy at your job look like?

  • Laziness when nobody’s watching.
  • Cutting corners or lying to make yourself look good.
  • Stealing time or resources—scrolling TikTok in the bathroom, running your personal business on company time.
  • Taking every benefit offered but only giving the bare minimum in return.
  • Consistently missing deadlines, needing to be micromanaged, and failing to be dependable.
  • Measuring your work ethic against co-workers instead of against God’s standard.

The truth is, mediocrity speaks louder than your words. If the quality of your work tells others you can’t be trusted, why would they trust your Savior?

Paul reminds us in Colossians 3:23–24:

“Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. Serve the Lord Christ.”

That means our job performance isn’t ultimately for our boss or our paycheck. It’s an act of worship. Excellence at work is one way we honor Christ, and it’s one of the most powerful testimonies we carry into the world.

So here’s the challenge:

  • Show up on time.
  • Work hard with integrity, even when no one sees.
  • Go beyond the minimum.
  • Be dependable.
  • Let your coworkers see Christ in the way you do your job, not just in what you say about Him.

When you live this way, your Gospel gains weight. Your words are no longer empty—they are backed by a life that reflects the Lord you serve.