Author: pastordarryl68

Love. Live. Serve. Minimizing me...making much of JESUS! Loves God, family and crossroads|church. Husband, father, teacher, student, servant and worshiper.

Three Reasons to Leave a Church

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There are only a few solid, biblical, and godly reasons for breaking fellowship with a local body of believers, and even then, there is a right and a wrong way to do it. Here they are:

  1. Moving out of the area, sent out by your church family with blessing and love, to unite with a church of like faith and practice in the new location.
  2. Being ordained/commissioned with blessing and love from said church to serve on the mission field or in another church of like faith and practice in need of your gifts. It should be confirmed among the body that this move is a call of God and not of an individual’s volition; however, the body must be careful not to be selfish and emotionally hold back the Lord’s anointed when He calls.
  3. Immorality or false doctrine that the church leadership and body fail to recognize, address, and discipline. Leaving at the first sign of disagreement or trouble is not healthy for the individual or the church to which you pledged your involvement.

I’ve heard a plethora of other reasons over the 45 years in church that get blamed on God’s leadership. But in every case, His aroma is nowhere near the hearts, attitudes, and/or tongues of those doing the departing.

Pray for us, for we are sure that we have a clear conscience, desiring to act honorably in all things. ~Hebrews 13:18

The Words We Speak

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Some of us speak from the head. We say the right things, as if from a script or cue cards, but often without the fruit of the Spirit, passion, or empathy.

Some of us speak from the heart. It may not always be the right wording, but it is almost always filled with the fruit of the spirit, passion, and empathy.

Most of us know the difference between the two.

The words we speak matter. The way in which we use those words also matters. Speech that is both led by the Holy Spirit and reflects the Word of God is speech that honors God and the listener. You might think that consistently speaking this way is impossible. However, God’s Word does provide the solution. Part of that solution is a three-pronged attack that we should utilize daily:

  1. Prioritize listening and understanding
  2. Do not rush to speak
  3. Do not rush to anger

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; ~James 1:19

Attention Needed

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There are those who NEED loving, satisfying, careful, purposeful attention from those whom God has placed in their life to give it. For example children and the neglected in the world. Then there are those who SEEK superficial, unsatisfying, never-ending attention from anyone who will give it.

These are two types of people and two types of attention.

One of them solves problems; the other creates and propagates them.

One is needs based. The other is performance based.

The one who SEEKS attention may also NEED attention, but the attention they seek is far different from the attention they need.

Pray for wisdom and discernment in knowing the difference.

Jesus gave attention in ways that was not always received by those who sought His attention. What we want is rarely what we need.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. ~James 1:5

Life is Hard, Now What?

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I’m a listener and a people watcher. I’m a student of human behavior. Here’s an observation from my observations:

People spend way too much time trying to convince others that they have a hard life…hard, demanding, degrading job, family issues, relationship issues, health issues, etc. It’s almost like they’re in a competition…a battle of “one-upmanship.”

  • the doctor said he’s never seen a case as bad as mine
  • no one has experienced as much as I have
  • no one has had to deal with the kind of people I have to deal with
  • no one has been around as much as I have
  • no one has had to carry the weight that I carry
  • no one has been treated the way I have as many times as I have

Here’s the problem: We’re trying to convince the already-convinced. They’re underwhelmed by our “shock and awe” stories – not because they don’t care or aren’t concerned. They’re not shocked because they too have a hard life of their own…a whole different set of burdens that are equally as weighty as ours.

Here’s the solution: BE the listener. BE the one to encourage. BE the mercy-giver. BE the edifier. We’re all in this together. God will ensure that you get what you give.

Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. ~Philippians 2:4

The Fruit of the Spirit

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For Kingdom minded people…

If you’re looking for joy, you’ll find it.
If you’re looking for peace, you’ll find it.
If you’re looking for love, you’ll find it.
If you’re looking for patience, you’ll find it.
If you’re looking for kindness, you’ll find it.
If you’re looking for goodness, you’ll find it.
If you’re looking for faithfulness, you’ll find it.
If you’re looking for self-control, you’ll find it.

But…
If your flesh is looking for division, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for stress, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for worry, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for fear, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for despair, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for pain, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for chaos, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for gossip, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for hate, you’ll find it.
If your flesh is looking for difficulty, you’ll find it.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control ~Galatians 5:22-23

Work Heartily

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I know that I’m living a life I can’t take a bit of credit for! Only a loving, merciful, and gracious God could write this story. I am blessed way beyond what I deserve, thanks to God’s abounding grace and mercy. Blessed are you, Lord our God, King of the Universe, Creator, and Savior of my soul. #SoliDeoGloria

I love the work that I get to do. Please don’t hear what I’m not saying…there are some tasks involved in my work that are challenging and difficult, they are not fun, and they are not really what, in my flesh, I want to be doing. But I absolutely love the work to which I have been called, and I really can’t get enough of it. I take one day of sabbath, or respite, away from my “job”, but even at that, I’m hopefully replenishing for the work that God has designed me to do. Now my flesh…ugh, that’s another story. My flesh is as lazy as the day is long….my flesh likes to veg on junk food and junk media. My flesh wants to lay around. My flesh wants to be a professional traveler and just consume, consume, consume for myself. My flesh wants to isolate.

But when I walk in the Spirit, I love that the work I do brings an income that provides for our needs and our health, allows my wife to take care of our home, allows us to bless our children and grandchildren in their young starts, allows us to bless our community with hospitality and benevolence, and will hopefully allow us to leave a legacy for our children that will bless future generations.

I do not understand a man who does not want to work, a man who works harder to avoid work than he does at his work. I do not understand the man who dreads his work. That just isn’t God’s plan for us.

God’s original design for mankind, before the fall of man, was to work by exercising dominion and care for what God created. He put man in the garden to tend and keep it, to make it productive. Ecclesiastes 2:24 LSB says, “There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink and have his soul see good in his labor. This also I have seen that it is from the hand of God.” To see good in his labor…it is from the hand of God. WOW!

Paul says in 2 Thessalonians 3:10-11 “…if anyone is not willing to work, neither let him eat. For we hear that some among you are walking in an unruly manner, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies.” There is much to be said about that in this age of recreational addictions and social media “influencer” culture…more about that later. I’m finding that idle time leads to an unruly mind that seeks unhealthy, unproductive, lazy, and sometimes sinful recreation. One who works hard rests well, without idleness. He went on to say in 1 Timothy 5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Those are stinging words, brothers.

It’s not that everyone should LOVE their work. There’s some kinda stinky jobs out there. BUT…we should LOVE the Lord who has created us for work, we should LOVE that He has called us to the work we do, and we should LOVE the rewards HE gives for obedient labor…some mentioned above and many more personal and communal rewards that are both physical, emotional, and spiritual. Serve the Lord Christ!

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. Serve the Lord Christ. ~Colossians 3:23-24 LSB

Drama

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Some people LOVE drama. They’re attracted to it. Some will even create drama out of thin air just for the high or the attention.

Drama Free is the life for me! I do my best to avoid, ignore, and/or navigate around any drama-inducing agents at every opportunity, in my personal life. I’m one of the most boring people I know.

There is enough drama that naturally comes with my calling to minister to people with hurts, habits, and hangups without seeking it out, feeding it, and breathing fresh life into it.

What about you? Are you attracted to drama? Does it find you? Do you miss it when you’ve got a little “drama-free” space?

And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one. ~1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

A Critical Spirit

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A critical spirit often comes from a place of idleness.

In my 30+ years of ministry, nearly every time I’ve seen a critical spirit tamed, God has used a status change to alter their idleness – they got a job, they got married, they had kids, they started working on an education, they had a crisis, they started caring for others, they had a major move, etc. They no longer had the idle time to ponder the imperfections of others.

None of those things in and of themselves will cure a critical spirit. This only comes by the work of the Holy Spirit in conjunction with a follower of King Jesus, who desires to walk in sworn allegiance to His person, in obedience to His Word, and in likeness of His character.

Being critical is simply a manifestation of our arrogance…thinking too highly or too low of ourselves. Humility is the act of thinking of ourselves less, not thinking less of ourselves.

Humility demonstrates care for others…it doesn’t criticize them. Which people in your life have you been critical of? In what ways can you start caring for them?

make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, as He already existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself by taking the form of a bond-servant and being born in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death: death on a cross. ~Philippians 2:2-8

My Approach to the New Year

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I’m in “wrapping up the year” and “getting ready for the next year” mode – both personally and professionally.

I’m not a New Year’s resolution guy, but I very much see the close of the holidays and the change of the calendar year as a time to be intentional about Kingdom Values — leveraging who I am and what I’ve been given to reach my neighbors, my city, and my world with Gospel-focused ministries of mercy so they might come to know, love, and follow Jesus into His Kingdom.

It’s a time to re-evaluate and re-center my organization and time management. It’s a time to re-evaluate and re-center my mission, vision, values, goals, relationships, etc.

I want even my time of rest and relaxation to be centered in ALL of Christ for ALL of life.

Philippians 3:10, “that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death,”

1 Corinthians 2:2 “For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified.“

What about you…how do you approach the New Year?

The Guest of Honor

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There is a vast difference in the participation levels of those who gather at church services and the results are equally vast…it’s the same as if you attend a gathering at a home.

There are those who show up empty-handed – some by force, some in need, and others to enjoy, consume, and leave.

There are those who show up with a gift – a bottle of wine, a bouquet of flowers, or small gift for the host. They contribute who they are and what they have to the event. They’re engaged. They give, enjoy, consume, and leave.

There are those who show up to serve. They can’t just sit; they have to be doing and helping. They find their way to the kitchen, where they help set the table and clear the dishes. They give, enjoy, give some more, and then leave, physically and emotionally full and exhausted.

Then there are the hosts/hostesses. They prepare themselves and their home for the gathering…they start days in advance. They create an environment of hospitality and generosity. They think about their guests, their needs, and their enjoyment. They prepare the food to be served. They set the table. They welcome their guests. They serve their guests. They enjoy the fellowship. They enjoy the meal. When the guests leave, they clean up, crawl into bed and begin to plan for the next event they want to host. They are fulfilled.

Every church gathering will have guests of various kinds. We must be hospitable and generous with them all.

But what we often miss is that we as followers of Jesus, as The Church, we are ALL the hosts and Yahweh is the Guest of Honor. We often only see the speaker, the staff, and/or the Worship Team as the hosts. Sometimes, that change in the way that we think must come from the leaders.

Do you gather at church to consume only? Are you an attender only? Or are you a host of the saints and Yahweh?

I pray that we as followers of Jesus, the Light of the World, host our unbelieving guests and the Guest of Honor today with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength today.

Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. ~Romans 12:13