Stop Making Communication About You

We’ve created a culture where people use social media to grind on others they’re unwilling to confront face to face. Subtle jabs. Vague posts. Side-eye spirituality. All while avoiding the courage of an actual conversation.

But there’s another issue underneath all of this—one that hits closer to home.

Entitlement.

Not loud entitlement.

Quiet entitlement.

Relational entitlement.

The kind that says, “If you really cared, you’d communicate with me the way I prefer.”

Only use the app I use.

Don’t group text me—text me individually or I won’t respond.

I don’t do digital.

I only take phone calls.

I only read printed bulletins.

And the list goes on.

Then—when communication happens without bending to those preferences—we get offended.

Hurt.

Left out.

Upset that we “weren’t in the loop.”

Here’s the hard question we don’t like asking:

Why should the masses bend to our individual preferences—or risk hurting our feelings?

That’s not how community works.

That’s not how leadership works.

And it’s certainly not how the Church works.

Scripture is painfully clear on this.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3)

Notice what Paul doesn’t say.

He doesn’t say, “Make sure everyone adapts to you.”

He says, you adapt for the sake of others.

Healthy communication requires flexibility.

Maturity.

Grace.

If the message was available—even if it wasn’t delivered in your preferred format—the issue isn’t communication.

It’s expectation.

And unmet expectations almost always turn into offense.

Jesus modeled this perfectly.

He met people where they were.

Different settings. Different methods. Different moments.

He didn’t demand perfect conditions—He demanded receptive hearts.

If we want to stay connected, we have to loosen our grip on control.

If we want to stay in the loop, we have to stay reachable.

If we want strong relationships, we have to stop making everything about our comfort.

Here’s the simple takeaway:

Accessibility is a form of humility.

So ask yourself today:

Am I hard to reach—or just hard to please?

Am I flexible—or am I forcing others to orbit around me?

Am I protecting preference—or pursuing unity?

Because community doesn’t grow where entitlement is protected.

It grows where humility leads.

And that’s the kind of church—and the kind of people—we’re called to be.