I’m Feeling Unsupported

Most of us have been there…we made a decision (big or small), launched an initiative or a project, stepped outside our comfort zone, volunteered for something, shared a concern, etc., and we felt primarily unsupported…unheard…unseen. This happens in the context of our homes, relationships, workplaces, churches, teams, organizations, etc.

I’m an introspective person.  I’m not an over-thinker, but I am constantly evaluating and assessing, taking inventory, and surrendering more of my flesh, my ego, my will, and my plans to the control of the Spirit of God.  When I find myself in the above scenario, I start asking questions.  Why?  What went wrong?  What could have been done better?  What did I miss? Is it me?  

Here’s what I’ve found to be the case in the many times I’ve experienced a lack of support.  I hope it helps you today.

  1. My communication was unclear.  Communication is paramount to garnering support.  You cannot over-communicate.  But it’s also important to understand that the quantity of words does not guarantee the quality of the message sent or received.  Sometimes too many words can make the message more confusing, but not enough words will guarantee a failure to communicate and as a result, a lack of support.
  2. My motives or intentions were unclear or divided.  I failed to connect with the people that I was trying to engage and enlist because they either saw misplaced motives or doubted the source of my passion. Sometimes I had to admit my motive was self-gratifying or self-centric and good reason for lack of support.
  3. Blind trust and authority are evidence of poor stewardship on the part of others.  People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.  Trust is developed and earned.  Authority is given and established through being faithful over a few things.  When we try to engage and enlist the hearts of people in whom we have not mutually invested and impacted in the little things, we cannot expect to be given blind trust and authority over other things.  Trust and authority given to me by my close friends and family carry little weight with strangers…nor should they. When I’m engaged in authentic community with others, we meet real needs for the right reasons in the right ways together.
  4. I procrastinated.  A failure to plan on my part does not constitute an emergency for others.  That doesn’t mean that we can’t be spontaneous or “present in the moment.”  See a need, meet a need.  But I can’t be upset with others who are more structured and have made plans to do something other than what I want them to do at the spur of the moment.
  5. Some people just didn’t connect with my mission, vision, or passion.  I have to be okay with that.  If it’s something that God has laid on my heart, I need to pursue it and accept the fact that maybe He didn’t lay it on the heart of others, or maybe one of the other points in this list applies.

Ultimately, my sworn allegiance to Jesus as King leads to loving Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Loving Him leads to trusting in and obeying His commands and walking faithfully and authentically in His Spirit with others who have the same mind, which was also in Christ Jesus. When I’m doing this, I can trust that I have all the support I need for what God is calling me to do.

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