Parenting Well #753 – Lessons learned along the journey, through mistakes (personal and observed), hardships, consequences, struggles, hard work, failing, getting back up, falling again and trying again. #ParentingWell#C2Parenting
INSTRUCTION WITHOUT APPLICATION, DISCIPLINE, ACCOUNTABILITY AND CORRECTION IS FUTILE.
Here are a few ideas:
1. Don’t be a hypocrite. “Do as I say not as I do” is a straight path to frustration and confusion…for you and your child.
2. Don’t talk about it…BE about it. Don’t just talk the talk. Walk the walk. The world is full of talkers and you see how that is working out. Be an example of the Biblical behaviors you want to instill.
3. Don’t threaten without consistent followthrough. If you’re going to count, make sure they know what’s at the end of “3”…and it better not be “4”. If you’re not going to give the consequences that you set, save your breath and your self-respect. There are times to administer grace and mercy to those who are repentant and show remorse. That’s not the same thing as being undisciplined and lazy.
4. Don’t be lazy. Let’s just be honest, corrective behavior is sometimes more consequential for the parent. Proactive parenting is hard work. When you ground your children from devices and/or media, it might mean that you get to spend more time having conversations that include your children. THIS IS NOT A BAD THING. Don’t use devices and media as a babysitter because you’re too tired to deal with your kids.
5. Teach and model honor, dignity, and respect for other people. Use Mr. and Mrs., Miss, Dr., Pastor, Sir, Ma’am, etc with your children. Don’t interrupt. Don’t hit. Temper tantrums aren’t going to be public spectacles. If you’re going to create drama, it is for your eyes only and when you’re done, you may join the rest of the family and our friends.
6. Teach and model boundaries. If it doesn’t belong to you, don’t touch it. Teach your children to respect what belongs to others. Teach them to respect mom and dad’s things, grandma and grandpa’s things, brother and sister’s things, etc. Teach them to respect God’s things.
7. Teach and model that God is the center of the universe…not you. Lots of drama comes from catering to our children’s every whim and whimper. it is not our job to entertain our children, to provide them a device to keep them quiet while we talk, to let them run wild as long as they’re not bothering me. Hard to believe that not too long ago, there were no play places at restaurants, no tunnel towns or soft play areas, no apps or gaming systems. Some of the most creative people and intelligent people that have ever walked the face of the earth had public parks, grassy areas, piles of dirt, a doll, a dump truck, and an imagination.
8. Teach them to be minimalists early. It is a parent’s role to provide shelter, food, clothing, and necessities. It is a parent’s role to provide for basic needs. It is not our role and can actually be quite detrimental when we try to provide everything our child wants, everything their friends have, and everything we didn’t have when we were growing up.
9. Enjoy what you have and who you have. It’s so easy to always be on the run and on the lookout for the next “thing”, the next “event” or the next “person”. Let your kids see you enjoying what God has already given you and teach them to do the same.
10. Parent according to God’s example, Biblical instructions, and Biblical examples. Don’t parent from a deficit. Don’t try to do the right thing by being the opposite of the wrong examples you grew up with. Go to the source, not the “reaction”.